Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Home Schoolin'

I recently had an epiphany in which I realized that I should be a librarian when I grow up. I was ecstatic. The long years I've spent narrowing down what I want to do with my life, finally at an end. Now, a path. That starting place, a jumping off point, a direction to a determinded destination. I called That College I Sometimes Go To, to inquire about which classes I could take online while I am waiting for Muhloo(10mo) to go to school. I discovered that Library Science is actually a Masters program. One which, incidentally, is not offered at Said College.

Deep breath. "Okay, well do you have any idea what sort of Undergraduate degree I should pursue with that Masters in mind?"

"Oh, pretty much anything. Of course something with English or Literature is always good, but really any field that interests you would work."

So much for narrowing down what I want to do with my life.

So I go in and meet with an Advisor. She tells me that I can choose between Comparative Literature ( YES!) which she is advising me against (NO!) and English, which she thinks would be my best bet. Why would English be better I ask? Well the Comparative Lit. degree doesn't have any major classes available online. English on the other hand has tons.

"Explain to me the difference between the two."

"Well, Comparative Literature would be studying and comparing literature (oh, really?), while (and this next part came in hushed and reverential tones-) English would be studying the intracacies of the English Language. (Enter the choir of heavenly angels now). Hmmm. I wonder which classes SHE teaches?

The intracacies of the English language. Hmmm. Semicolon 101? I don't think so. Thanks, but I get all the English Language learnin' I need reading the "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks. Ok, Comparative Lit it is. And actually I still have some G.E.'s to get out of the way so I can do those online while I wait for Muhloo(10mo) to grow.

Thinking about the general education I am soon to receive at home got me thinking about the general education I have already received there.

Since we're already on English, let's just start there:

Pronunciation of Consonants (PrCn160)-
Me: Wwwww-ipes
Monster Truck(2): Yyyyyyipes.
Me: Wwwwwipes
Monster Truck(2): Yyyyyyipes.
Me: Wwwwwwwww
Monster Truck(2): Wwwww
Me: Good! Do it again!
Monster Truck(2): Wwwwww!
Me: Now say, wwwwwipes.
Monster Truck(2): WwwwwwYipes.

Try to say that. It's really hard.
(Note: Monster Truck(2) graduated this week from wwwwYipes to Lipes. Also, I think speaking toddlerese 6 times earns me a Minor in Foreign Language.)

Zoology 100 (ZooL100)-
Little Mommy(9) informed me today that she is pretty sure she broke her toe at school because she dropped something heavy on it and then just kept "slumping around" all day.

Mr. Yuke(4) popped his knuckle night before last while wrestling with his dad.
Mr Yuke(4): OH NO! I broke my ANKLE BUTTON! It WASN'T WORTH IT!!!!
[I actually think I should get double credit for this one in Drama 120 (Dra120)]

Economics For Small Business (Econ160)-
Me: No one in this family is allowed to charge for breakfast or lunch at school under any circumstances whatsoever. Do you understand me? (Collective nodding of heads.) Charging is not a good practice to get into and we do not have the money for that. I have already talked with the lunch lady. Her computer says you guys can't charge. Okay? (Nodding again.) We have perfectly good food at home you can eat for breakfast and take for lunch. There is no reason ever to charge. Got it? (More nodding.)


Me: What do you mean you owe $10.45 to the school and they're kicking you out in January if you haven't paid it yet?! What have you been doing with ALL THOSE LUNCHES you took to school?! ... Uh huh. ... I see. Well you are paying those charges with the money from your own piggy bank. ... Yes, it is fair. ... No, I provided you with food the first time around when you chose to throw it away. You owe money too?!!! How much do YOU owe? $6.80? How can you owe $6.80? Lunch prices don't even add up to that! (STUPID LUNCH LADY!) You TELL that lunch lady that I want an itemized receipt for that. ... It means a list of all the charges. ... Yes, she can. ... If you can't remember "itemized" then just say 'my mom wants a receipt.'. ...WHAT?!!!! YOU aren't even AT school for lunch time!!! HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY HAVE CHARGES AT SCHOOL?!!! ... Breakfast? You eat breakfast at home. ... I don't CARE if you like french toast better than cheerios, you're not allowed to eat at school without taking money!

I should get an honorary degree in Social Science for that one just on the grounds that no one got maimed. : )

Psychology 210 (Psy210)-
One of Husband's roommates was a Psych major. Not my favorite person come to think of it. The reason for that was that he was constantly doing/saying/encouraging things solely to elicit a reaction and then to analyze all the people involved. The world was his laboratory, the human race his lab rats. In honor of the roommate I'll call Dozen Roses, my psych experiment:

Monster Truck(2): You're taking a BAFF?!!! (Read: Have you LOST YOUR MIND?)
Me: Yep.
Monster Truck(2): Why aye you taking a baff?
Me: Because my back hurts (stupid cheap Walmart junk...).
Monster Truck(2): Because yo-ee back hurts? You takinga baff because yo-ee back hurts?
Me: Mmhm.
Monster Truck(2): Hmm. Nice and Yarm.

I'm also pretty sure I've already earned at least a minor in Children's Literature and probably Early Childhood Development as well. I can offhandedly quote Dr. Seuss, Shel Silverstein, e.e. cummings, and Mem Fox. Sad, but true.

I've learned how to fix baby beds, action figures, boo-boos and dinners. I've written journals and blogposts and permission slips and excuse notes. I've made costumes and messes and excuses and FHE lessons; done homework and housework and yardwork and God's work. I've made babies and a family. I've made a home.

I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to comtemplate what I wanted to do with my life. In taking the time to contemplate it, I did it.


Tiercy said...

I love this post!! Awesome insight to what we are really doing at home with the little ones. BTW- this format would make a really cute christmas letter.

Cam and Kristy said...

I don't get the Zoology part. Zoology is the study of animals and I am failing to see how it relates to what you wrote.

Demand More said...

And this is why you should win best parenting award!

Not quite the Bradys said...

cam and kristy-
Hmmm. Well, I hope that was a joke. I don't know about everywhere else in the country, but That College I Am A Forever Student At includes all the pre-med human anatomy classes under ZooL headings. Ankle button. Love that.

SuperSarahAnn said...

That was a much, MUCH needed giggle. Thanks for sharing - and good luck with your blogger award!!!