Monday, December 3, 2007

Steamin' joe

Little Mommy(9), when she was just barely 8- singing the SUV Song from VeggieTales:
"Oh, you and me- in our sport utility vehicles.
Cruisin' to Dunkin' Donuts- for a BAG of steamin' joe."
It's the best visual ever. I can just see it sloshing around in a plastic takeout bag.

Last Friday, I finally had a morning cup of coffee. It was so amazing I had to blog about it.

No. I guess that won't do. Of course I didn't have a cup of coffee. I don't drink coffee. It's bad for you, it makes your breath stink, and I have made a covenant not to drink it. I guess I should go back a ways and explain.

I have this friend- actually a friend of a friend, Ti- who refers to taking a shower when she wakes up as "her morning cup of coffee." Ti says she absolutely cannot function without her "morning cup of coffee". I can see her point really. I hate missing my morning shower. For the last couple of years though, I have remembered Ti adamantly telling me about how much her "morning cup of coffee " centers her. Without it she just can't face the day. And as I have remembered this conversation, I have thought that her morning shower must be a lot different from mine.

We have rules in our house. I have mentioned some of them before. The rule that applies here is:


The following constitute an energency:

  1. Someone is bleeding.
  2. Someone is choking or turning blue.
  3. Someone has swallowed something poisonous.
  4. The house is on fire.

(My kids realize that there are, of course, obvious exceptions to this rule. Things such as,

  • "Can I go play with Jace?"
  • "I got yogurt on my shirt."
  • "I need you to velcro the back of my Batman suit."
  • "Have you seen my shoe?" -Always the shoes...
  • "Here's your cell phone, mommy. Someone maked you a phone call."
  • "[Bubba(6)] PUT IN STAR WARS WHEN YOU SAID I COULD WATCH 12 Dancing Princesses WHEN MY CHORES WERE DONE!!!!!!!!!"
  • "______ hit me!!!")

Any time these exceptions come up, I refer the child to the rules. "Are you bleeding? Is anyone choking? Is the house on fire? Has [Monster Truck(2)] gotten out into the street?.... Then GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM while I am TAKING A SHOWER!!!!!"

So, although I do love my morning shower, I do not generally find it that Nirvana everyone in the Northwest claims to experience whilst chugging stewed, burned beans. I am usually far more tense, irritated, and stressed when I get out of the shower than when I rolled out of the nice warm covers that morning. That is, until last Friday.

I showered. It was hot. It was steamy. It was good to the last drop. NO ONE came in. I could scarcely believe it. I realized that I was done and I had not yet been interrupted- so I admit it. I stayed in there a little longer. I savored every second. And Ti was right. I was centered. I was warm. I was both relaxed and invigorated. I didn't have to get tanked up on caffeine and carcinogens, and I was ready to face my day.

And guess what? My breath didn't even stink.


Tiercy said...

Okay, I am just not this clever. I LOVE the comparison of joe to a shower, right down to the last drop. Too funny. Love those mornings where you can take a little extra time on yourself. Of course, my mom always said she worried the most when it was quiet. I definitely agree.

allhisblessings said...

I stumbled across your blog as I was surfing (love the blog of unnecessary quotation marks!) and I just have to say...I'm with ya on the whole shower thing! I even lock the door. People still get in. My six-year-old yells things through the crack underneath. I yell back that I can't hear her. I can't even say that I take showers in the mornings or evenings because, really, I just take 'em when I can get em! Speaking of which...gotta go :)